Sissy vs. Sissy
I’m sorry I haven’t posted much in the last few days but all my writing energy is going into trying to get these first 50 or so pages of my novel in shape to give to my agent. Right now I’ve changed the working title to “The Sensual Music of Neglect.” It’s taken from the first stanza of one of my favorite poems, William Butler Yeats’ “Sailing to Byzantium.”
That is no country for old men. The young
In one another’s arms, birds in the trees
- Those dying generations - at their song,
The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas,
Fish, flesh, or fowl, command all summer long
Whatever is begotten, born, or dies.
Caught in that sensual music all neglect
Monuments of unaging intellect.
On another note, I found out this morning that I”ve been nominated for a Quill Award. The Quills are considered the Oscars of the publishing business. I’ve been nominated in the Audio Book category for my recording of Mississippi Sissy. I’m up against Sissy Spacek for her recording of Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird. Amy Sedaris for writing and recording I Like You. Fannie Flagg for writing and recording Can’t Wait to Get Out of Here. And Will Patton for recording Charles Frasier’s 13 Moons. The ceremony is in October at Lincoln Center and is broadcast over NBC. Sissy and Amy and Fannie - now that’s a category I always I knew I’d be in one day.
Also, I was get my political fix yesterday by browsing through my favorite political blogs and clicked on to dailykos.com and was surprised to read a long rave review of Mississippi Sissy there. Dailykos.com is one of the most heavily trafficed political sites so I was thrilled to see the book written about there. You’ll probably have to search for it on there now but it’s worth the read.
June 4th, 2007 at 5:45 pm
Hey Kevin, It’s great that you recieved that nomination!! Congratulations!
I’m really happy so many people are enjoying your work and seeing/hearing your talent.
When my son Andrew was very young he asked me innocently “Dad? Have you SEEN this song?” I would never think to HEAR a book but in fact I DID hear “SISSY” on a long trip…. what a great way to experience your writing… I can certainly understand why you deserve that award.
I still hope that your travel/tour leads you into Charlottesville. There are people ( me and a couple of other fans) who really hope to meet you. Sissy lives here…
June 4th, 2007 at 6:23 pm
CONGRATS! Kevin on your Quill nomination! That is indeed a huge honor and you are in great company.
As they say, you’ve already won
All the best,
~G
June 5th, 2007 at 10:58 am
Kevin,
I just finished Mississippi Sissy this morning, and thought it was a wonderful book. Definitely one of the more enjoyable personal histories I have ever read, despite the sadness throughout. I just wanted to tell you I liked it and to thank you for sharing that part of yourself with us. The review on Dailykos was excellent as well. And I LOVE the cover picture (as does my 16-month-old daughter).
June 5th, 2007 at 11:04 am
I am thrilled that you are nominated!!! I also would love to meet you.
I wish that you would come back to Jackson and do another book signing.
I talked about you at a fundraiser for the documentary “Mississippi Queen”.
If you haven’t checked this out…They have a My Space posting…
Hope to hear from you…..Jeana
June 5th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
I forgot….I love the new title…….Jeana
June 5th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
congratulations on the nomination…. still a fan from tupelo… every one i talk to that has read your book thinks it is a gem.. my buddy in nola is reading it now. cant wait for his response.
June 6th, 2007 at 12:03 am
Congratulations home boy, I am so happy that you are doing well, I am
from Harperville and I loved it, going to the post office at Mrs Nets store
to pick up the mail and getting my true story and true confessions.
I am very sorry that I missed you in San Francisco.
June 6th, 2007 at 10:42 pm
Hello Kevin, Loved to see a home town person do well. I am
AA and moved from MS in 1957. You are to be congratulation.
June 7th, 2007 at 12:20 am
YEA, KEVIN ! Way to go. I am pleased for you, delighted, even. Well, yeah, you will be in the company of giants…but so will they. I have faith in your published book, and continue to feel that this story is by no means dormant.
Your new book sounds fascinating. I agree, the new title is arresting. You are so schmart!
I so much enjoy hearing of your rich life…..hoping to get some of your charm by osmosis.
June 8th, 2007 at 10:40 am
love your title
June 8th, 2007 at 10:42 am
excellent & congrats on the nomination
June 8th, 2007 at 10:50 am
kevin is a charmingly wonderful man
June 8th, 2007 at 11:27 am
Hi Kevin - I just finished your book and truly loved it. I am a recently out gay man in Memphis and I can relate to so many things in your book. I really understand how hard it was for you, as I had a lot of the same feelings over the past twenty years. A friend told me you came to Memphis to do a book signing and I hadn’t read your book at the time. I really wish I would have known. I look forward to meeting you sometime in the future as you really are an inspiration for me. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. Congrats on the nomination! Take care and I’ll keep reading…
June 9th, 2007 at 11:23 am
I received your memoir for my birthday last night and cannot wait to dig in …
June 9th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Kevin,
I love your book andI have only 10 pages to go. I go to the park every Saturday and Sunday and read. It is so close to me growing up in Atlanta during the 1960s and the way I was feeling as a gay child. I am so sorry I did not discover this book back in march when you were in San Francisco for a book signing. I would have loved to have you sign my book and to meet you. Hope you come back to SF. I look forward to reading more of your book.
Congratulations on all the success, you deserve this.
June 11th, 2007 at 5:05 am
hi kevin - after spending the weekend with “mississippi sissy”, i just want to let you know, how much i love your memoirs. never have i read a book before that makes me smile, cry, and leaves me in total shock at the same time. the story with matty may, for example, is simply heart-breaking. thanks a lot for this wonderful book. and thanks for giving me inspirations for more authors to read. here in germany, writers like katherine anne porter or eudora welty are not well-known, and their books were published the last time in the 1960s. but after reading your book i am really curious and already ordered some or their books in english. but i am longing for more from you to read! i mean, between book covers. (i appreciate your magazine work anyway.) thanks again, congrats for the nom, and best wishes from germany - jens.
June 13th, 2007 at 9:23 am
…tho it’s not such the great title for the accompanying weblog.
Sissy and Fannie make some damn fine company… congrats on the Quill boost !!
June 15th, 2007 at 12:02 am
Kevin,
I just finished Mississippi Sissy. I am from MS myself however I moved away at a very young age. I lived there for about 2 years in Collins, MS just north of Hattiesburg. My entire family still lives there. I can completely connect w/ so much of your book. When I was a little boy we lived in Gretna, LA a suburb of New Orleans and our next door neighbor, Miss Vickie dressed me up in one of he doughters dresses and took a picture of it. When she showed it to my dad I hear he went completely nuts. Thanks for reminding me of this……….Darrell…..Chicago
June 15th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Hi Kevin–
Congratulations on the Quill Nomination, well deserved! I’m a bit late in picking up your book–I’m so sorry I missed you when you were in Memphis–but I love it! I’ve been a fan of your aticles in Vanity Fair, and the little cameo in Tales of the City. I might be a bit shallow, but as much as I love the book, my favorite part of the book is the author cover–you should always have your legs in your author photo!!! Before I bought the book I used to pick it up off the shelf (I work in a book store) and just look at it. Very sexy picture!
Take care,
Robb
Burke’s Book Store
June 17th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
Ms. Sessums,
I read your book in less than 24 hours, excellent!!! My mother was originally from Biloxi then moved to Jackson. I still have family in Hattiesburg. You captured the deep South so well I that I had to stop and get a cool glass of sweet tea and press the glass to my forehead. I wish my mother were alive so that I could read some of your descriptions out loud. Your motherloss was so beautifully wrought that I sat and wept thinking about my own mother. You’ve touched me so much.
Thank you for your book and please visit Cincinnati!
Sincerely,
TraceyDanine
June 19th, 2007 at 12:31 am
Kevin,
I went on vacation to the beach with the full intentions of reading your book. My partner read it and I watched him laugh and cry all the way through it and I think this prompted me not to read while on vacation. The day we got home, I started reading it and couldn’t put it down. I was a day late going back to work so I could finish. I know that it is your memoir, but so many correlations for me here in North Miss. I felt like a large part of my life was being written: black maids, parents beautiful and jocks, grandparents had a strong presence in my life, sexual abuse from the religious, me choosing a dish set instead of a football for a birthday gift and the dissappointment that my dad experienced with that choice. I am so proud to have experienced this book. It was gut wrenching for me, but it reinforced that there are so many others that went through a lot of the same crap that we did in that time span. Empowering! Thank you. Congradulations on the nomination……. Yes, you are in great company, but they are in great company as well. I hope you win. Reed’s in Tupelo didn’t allow you to do a signing and who wants to shop with them anyway! My partner Ken and I would much rather try to catch you somewhere else in the area on your next tour.
June 23rd, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Kevin,
“Mississippi Sissy” is a wonderful memoir - You are indeed a gifted writer. Having grown up in southern Alabama, your narrative brought to the surface many memories of what life was like during that period. I remember the precise moment when I was aware of being “other” - my mother’s warm breath on my ear as she bent down to whisper four words that forever changed my life. I was five years old and playing with other children in front of the bleachers as she sat with a few friends watching a high school footbal game. I remember nothing of what I was doing at the time, only the words “stop swishing your hips” , as I was likely imitating the walk of certain women I had observed. She was embarassed and she projected her shame onto me where it sat heavily on top of my shoulders causing a tenseness that I’ve never been able to fully shake. At that moment any joyfulness evaporated and I began to monitor and correct any mannerisms not “appropriate” for a boy.
Over the years I have come to realize that my mother, though she felt some embarassment at her son’s difference, did not want me to be hurt so she did what she did to protect me, and in doing so paid a price in that she never really knew me. And me,….well I’ve found love and a wonderful partner of 28 years and periodic glimpses of joy and peace, but there is a lingering sadness that never completely fades away.
Now, to my point…. Your book gives me hope, that it will find a larger audience of parents with sissy or tomboy children and that they will embrace and love and encourage them as did Nancy Carolyn her beautiful son Kevin.
Regards,
John Bradshaw
June 25th, 2007 at 10:04 am
Hello Kevin.
I tried to send an e-mail to what I think was your account but I think I might have the wrong address. I thought I would try you here. It read as follows:
Dear Kevin,
I’m not sure if you remember me or if you received my last e-mail a few months ago. But, my name is John Lee, a fellow sissy from Forest, and now a Peace Corps Volunteer in Romania. I initially made contact with you through your blog. I finally received your book (a signed copy no less) as a birthday present from a friend and I’ve just finished it. I absolutely loved it! I read with tears in my eyes, laughed and got a hard-on all in one sitting.
I bet you receive letters like this all the time but your book really hit home with me…literally. I related to so many things in your book, some forgotten and some that will forever be present in my memory. I remember that same old movie theatre in Forest, Ms. Ishee-or ain’t she from elementary school, Paul Chambers, Harperville, the mother and father that worked the door at the gay bar in Jackson (now Jack and Jills) and the list goes on. However, there is no doubt that you’ve experienced a sense of loss that I have yet to encounter. I am truly sorry.
Do you make it back to Mississippi often to see your family? I can tell you that once I left years ago I haven’t been back much myself. I hope your new book is coming along well and I wish you further success with Mississippi Sissy.
Take care and hope to hear from you soon.
John
July 6th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
Dear Kevin:
I appreciate the forum to go back with you to those early days. And when I say we go back to those early days; I mean like the photo of you with the baseball glove about to field a pop-up. I never knew that you stuttered but knew that you were soft spoken. I remember the excitement of Kim when Mr. Adkins was able to place the yellow school bus on the North Side of the Brit’s driveway. Kim was planning on painting sun rise and sunset on the blinds that were going to be installed. It seems that either Mr. Britt or Mr. Adkins had a conversation about how important it was for Karole to have a private bath.
You mentioned R. Bliss sending you early works. Although he resided at the Southern Hotel, I always considered him as a neighbor. His Dad and grandmother did not let him play with a lot of us running around the neighborhood. Someone mentioned Tip and have a sister in law that knew him at Southern MS. I remember the wave of gossip when his unexpected exposure caused so much speculation in town.
My parents still live by themselves not a half mile from where you were raised. The city limits has moved out; and the cows from what I precieve as a early sweethearts home have gone from the once expansive pastures. After so many years of being away I deal with the memories each day. It’s hard for me to remember which of one you favored your mother the most, or your father the most.
There was the Clarion Ledger article when your mentor was murdered and the local support from friends and family when you were cleared. There was so much more tragedies in this small Mississippi Town splitting at the seams with pride from abundance of beautiful women; to such noted talents both Black and White making names for themselves.
For those of us that had living parents the pressure seemed to be all the same. Some of us lost one or both parents as was the news of the school day. And with the older children coming back from war was the exposure and source of drugs. What use to be the HWY 80 East and West and HWY 35 North and South was opened to the world with the interstate. On towards the 80s the once prerceived perfect little town turned into a Peyton Place for more lies and secrets.
Sissy, Silly, or what ever you wish to call the preception of the adults that had the money, and the political pull; I turned out not be gay. I never did question my perference. But I am sure others in the community did wonder. There was so much peer pressure, and it was difficult to be a All Superiou Group. It would have been wonderful to have played doctor with the girls across the street as most all of them were High School Seniors. One my age gave the neighborhood boys an exhibiton as the others had been properly warned prior to first grade that show and tell was limited.
My children are smart and are in those critical years of wonderment. My prayer is that you can again feel your mom’s sweet embrace, and the love and support of your fathers strong hands. Blessed is what God hat made. You know home is never home once you have gone; but each day this little city strives to shine, and be proud of yet another one of its own.
July 9th, 2007 at 3:55 am
Well, it’s now been over a month since your lost post. The Ptown 4th of july festivities have come to a close so you now have no excuse! What are you waiting for???
July 10th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Hi Kevin, I just finished Mississippi Sissy. It was wonderful. You are an amazing writer. I am looking forward to your novel. Though I usually don’t listen to audio books that are abridged, I may make an exception with yours, since I already read every word of the book. Besides, I listened to the excerpt on this site, and loved the way you read it. I love it when a writer reads their own work. Wish I had found your book before you toured the south, I would have loved to meet you and get your autograph. Best wishes, and good luck to you. Donna
July 11th, 2007 at 10:50 pm
Hey, I am reading your book now. I went to high school with you. I am sorry I did not recognize the pain you were suffering at the time. Yes, sometimes life is difficult but sometimes it is fun and you are telling a story of both. Love your book so far. I would like to thank you for welcoming me and others to the high school after we intergrated. I was just so amazed that you were so friendly, warm, sunny,and corny. You made us welcome, you made us laugh when we were so scared of the unexpected. You did not care what color we were. You have been and I am sure always will be a wonderful person. Thanks Kevin, I have always remembered you. Congratulations.
July 17th, 2007 at 10:24 pm
Linda Hays
My God, I remember you of course, beautiful lady
July 25th, 2007 at 12:22 am
I hope your absence from your blog only means that you are having a productive summer or in love or something else wonderful.
August 1st, 2007 at 11:35 pm
Just returned from a week in Tokyo where I had the opportunity to hand out several Sissy audios, they make the best hostess gifts. I brought only one book with me since they are so heavy to pack but I hear that it’s being passed around and read by lots of people:)
Japan was wonderful but very hot. Got lots of work done and hung out with Kennedy who’s there studying Japanese.
Glad your new book is going well. I read about Ptown in Out and it sounds like such a nice place to spend the summer!
Love you,
Diane
September 2nd, 2007 at 4:26 pm
I came upon your book by chance–I’m fastideous about taking time with only the best literature and can say that this rare truly well crafted writing; gay people need this kind of fine story telling. Thanks Mark
September 14th, 2007 at 11:18 am
Well, that does it. I will DEFINITELY be purchasing the audio version for my Mom to listen to. The only thing is that I hate that it’s an abridged version. But since my Mom’s stroke a couple of years ago, she has difficulty reading & I know she would never be able to finish if reading the book. I wish I had the time to read it to her- and I might just have to do that.
Kevin, I live in Vicksburg, MS, work in Jackson. I recently finished your absolutely amazing book, mostly reading on my lunch break while sitting on a bench near my office on Capital St, about a block from the Gov’s Mansion. There were many days I would find myself tearing up and a few times had to close the book before I started bawling. Other days, I had to laugh out loud.
I can never express to you, as so many others have on this blog, how much your book touched me. I’m not even sure why. I’m about 5 yrs younger than you, raised in N Louisiana, hetero, but have always had an affinity of sorts for gay people. I’m not sure why that is. A few years ago I was “informed” in a very insensitive way- at the time of my father’s funeral, that he was gay. I’ve never confirmed that and could if I wanted by asking my mother. But I just never felt it necessary and am afraid it would upset my mother. Perhaps it would be good for her to “let go” of a very long-held secret.. I dunno. Anyway, maybe my heart goes out to gays because it’s in my genes? Who knows? I can tell you, though, that I cannot get over your book. It’s in my mind all the time, and I will definitely read it again- and I NEVER re-read books. I am sick that I did not know about your book reading in V’burg. Well, actually, I think I did read about it and read the article in the V’burg Post about you & your siblings- but I had not read the book yet, so didn’t know what I was missing.
I have not visited your sister’s art gallery, but I will and hope I get the opportunity to meet her. I hope someday our paths will cross. I would love to meet you and never, ever dreamed I would be anybody’s “groupie” but I’m afraid I am yours now. Kinda corny, huh?
You are an amazing soul and I thank you for writing such a wonderful book. It is definitely a love story to your parents, grandparents, Mattie May, and others. And this blog has proven how far & wide your story has touched others lives. Amazing!
I’ve rambled enough. I’ve almost finished reading your blog and I do hope you will continue posting, though I see that the entries are few & far between now. Hopefully that’s because you are busy with your new book & will return soon.
December 28th, 2007 at 9:02 pm
Kevin, Mississippi Sissy is truly a memorable book. I will re-read it (and like another correspondent–I rarely re-read, except for To Kill a Mockingbird). I laughed, I cried, and would sometimes just stop and contemplate about what I had just read.
We hope to meet you in Vicksburg in March at H.C.’s opening. Can’t wait for the next book to come out.
Continue posting. Your stories about Ptown are hilarious and I haven’t been there since 1973, but it was quite the place even then. And your mentoring of that young man is to be admired. As a former English and Journalism teacher, keep after him about his grammar and language–you can never recover a lost “teaching moment” and you never know when something will click. Julie (and Rex)