If I Still Have Any Readers On This Blog …
Then I guess I should be writing these posts again. I want to apologize for not writing more these last couple of months but have been quite depressed and down re: the novel-in-progress. I wanted to wait until I had great news to announce. But several publishing houses have turned it down so far and, though it’s still at a few other places awaiting an assortment of judgements, it’s not looking so good. I’m trying to remain hopeful but it hasn’t been easy. Hence the light blogging.
I remain convinced it is good and moving and funny. But we writers are a fragile lot and have to admit my faith in my talent has been shaken a bit. But for those of you who have read Mississippi Sissy you know I’m a survivor and a fighter and God knows I’ve survived worse than a novel not receiving the reception I had so hoped for it. But, as I said, there are still several houses to hear from so we’ll see.
In the meantime, I’ve started the sequel to Sissy. It’s titled “I LEFT IT ON THE MOUNTAIN, A Midlife Search for Meaning, and MYSELF.” The first chapter is called The Climber and is about my successful climb up Mt. Kilimanjaro. Chapter Two is called The Role-Player - it is about my time at Juilliard and my starring as Alan Strang opposite Tony Perkins in “Equus” among other roles I’ve played in life and on TV, including parts in “Tales of the City” and Truman Capote’s “The Grass Harp.” Chapter Three: The Mentored, which is about the two late men who first cut me out of the herd here in New York City - Howard Moss, the poetry editor of The New Yorker and a great poet himself, and Henry Geldzahler, who was curator of Twentieth Century Art for the Metropolitan Museum and also Commissioner of Cultural Affairs for the City of New York under Mayor Koch. The Mentor is the title of Chapter Four and that is about my relationship with Brandon Gonzalez. For those of you familiar with this site, you’ll know Brandon as the Brooklyn kid I’ve written about so often who is a big part of my life. Chapter Five: The Starfucker, which is about my years interviewing everyone from Madonna to Johnny Depp to Cher to Barbra Steisand to Tom Cruise and on and on and on during my tenures as Executive Editor of Andy Warhol’s Interview and as a contributing editor at Vanity Fair. I’m calling Chapter Six The Visitor and it will tell the story of my trip to Louisville to see my first friend who died of AIDS in the late 1980s during his last days in the hospital. The Expatriate is the title of Chapter Seven and it will summarize my time living in Paris which coincided with September 11th. Chapter Eight is about my diagnosis with HIV when I was living in South Beach and it is titled The Diagnosed. The Dogged is the title of Chapter Nine and is about my best friend Archie, who is a 15 pound Chihuahua who has changed my life. And the final chapter is titled The Searcher about the return month-long trip to Africa I plan to take in the near future.
The sequel may be announced in a story the New York Times is doing about Archie and my apartment and me in the Habitats column in its Sunday Real Estate section on December 9th. For those of you who don’t live in New York, I guess you can read it online since I don’t think the Real Estate section is part of its national Sunday edition.
What else? Hmmmm …. I’m still enjoying writing my theatre reviews for Towleroad.com. So check those out. I’ll be writing about William Finn and a few other things this week or next. I went to see a screening of Atonement on Tuesday. Don’t miss it when it opens at your local theatres. It’s a great movie. I loved the Ian McEwan novel, though that word “novel” catches in my throat these days. It was one of my favorites of the last few years as is this movie. I didn’t think the filmmakers could capture the interior quality of the novel’s story - and they haven’t quite - but they have made an astonishingly good film. Joe Wright, the director, and Christopher Hampton, the screenwriter, have accomplished the near-impossible - translating a work of literary art into a cinematic one with a completely different set of tools. Bravo to them and to the cast which includes Keira Knightley and James McAvoy (my new favorite actor) and the always great Vanessa Redgrave. I interviewed Knightley for the cover of ELLE magazine when she was only 17. She could not have been more self-possessed for a teenager. I was smitten with her back then and even more so now. She was staying at The Ritz in Paris with her mother - a left-wing playwright - since at that point Knightley didn’t even have a publicist. She was game from anything. I even suggested I needed a great opening few paragraphs for the story and would she meet me downstairs at The Ritz’s indoor pool to swim a few laps at 8 a.m. so we’d be alone. She arrived the next morning with her bathing cap in place and in her tight little one-piece bathsuit beneath her plush Ritz terrycloth robe. I thought of that groggy Parisian morning with the heated pool’s steam rising Ritzily around us when she, as her character Cecilia Tallis in Atonement, languouously leans back in her own bathing cap and one-piece swim suit on her family’s divingboard in the film. Go see it and you’ll know what I mean when I say Keira has never been more lovely than in that moment on film. Well, perhaps she was in that fleeting memory I had of her when I saw the scene.
I’d also be remiss if I didn’t mention the passing of the great Norman Mailer since I’m back to blogging. His Executioner’s Song was a book that changed my writing life. And I’d often ride my bike by his home way down on the east end of Commercial Street in Ptown hoping to get a glimpse of him or hear him pecking away at his computer of typewriter the way I could hear Eudora Welty working away when I’d walk by her opened bedroom window back in Jackson, Mississippi, where she lived a few blocks from my college dorm in her old family homestead on Pinehurst. I met Mailer a couple of times. The first time was with my aforementioned mentor, Henry Geldzahler. We were in the back of a limo with Mailer and - I catch my breath even writing this - Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. This was when Jackie O was fighting to save Grand Central when Henry was Commissioner of Cultural Affairs. We were on the way to a fundraiser or a party or something pertaining to signifying Grand Central a landmark. Mailer regaled us all about his college days with Henry back at Harvard when he taught him how to box and Henry taught him how to smoke a cigar. “Sometimes a cigar is not just a cigar,” Henry said, paraphrasing Freud. Jackie giggled. I - Zelig-like - giggled along with her, not knowing at that point that Freud was being paraphrased but knowing that a giggle was called for simply at finding myself - a twenty-something from the Missisippi countryside - in such august company.
Years later after interviewing the actress Sally Kirkland for Interview - it was the year she was nominated for Best Actress for her performance in the title role in the film Anna - she invited me to be her date at a Halloween costume party at Norman Mailer’s house in Brooklyn Heights. She went as a flapper and I dressed in a 1920s tux. Mailer was dressed in a toga. I found myself in a corner flirting with Ali McGraw at one point and noticed Mailer observing us. More nervous at the prospect of my flirting with a woman than conversing with the renowned author, I nodded his way. He nodded back. I excused myself and went over and shook his hand and asked if he recalled our ride in the backseat of Henry’s car with Jackie O. “I knew you looked familiar,” he said. We carried on a polite coversation about Henry and, looking at the cast of characters mingling in his Brooklyn brownstone, marveled at how New York City throws such divergent people together. I admitted to him that night how I wanted to be a writer but found myself on the magazine path at the moment. “Come with me,” he said. I did. Yet again Zelig-like, I followed Mailer, busily tucking his toga into place about his square squat body, down the brownstone’s stairwell into his study. “This is where I do my writing,” he said. “I thought you might like to see this.” We talked about Executioner’s Song and how much it had meant to me, had meant to him. “Some day maybe I’ll have one of your books on these shelves,” he told me, so generous with his time and advice. Maybe he just wanted to get away from the drunks at his party but I’ll always be grateful for those few quiet moments alone with that giant of a square squat man. Mississippi Sissy probably wasn’t the kind of book with the kind of title he responded to so I doubt if it found a place on his shelf. But as I’ve doubted my own talent these last couple of months after receiving the rejections for my novel I’ve found solace in the words that night from the toga-wearing Mailer: “Make sure you’re your own audience, kid, and be kind to yourself in this unkind world.” I pray that Mailer has gone now to a kinder world for I’ll always be grateful for those few moments of genuine kindness he showed to - all appearances aside - a very frightened southern sissy on a Halloween night so long ago.
November 29th, 2007 at 4:53 pm
Funny that I should find myself here today amidst your (temporary) self-doubt the very day after I finished “Mississippi Sissy” and was thoroughly awestruck by your writing talent. (You need not worry, as I’m sure deep down you know.)
If this post is any indication, the sequel should be equally intriguing. (Knowing a bit about your background I wondered if “Sissy” would get to any of your post-Mississippi accomplishments.) Like many of us gay boys, the Jackie O part of this post — more than 13 years after her death — still made my heart skip a beat. I look forward to hearing more …
Take care,
kenneth walsh
November 30th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Hey Kevin,
Glad to see a new post. I enjoy reading them.
Andy
November 30th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
I for one will be very upset if I never get the chance to read your novel, but definitely will look forward to the follow up to “Mississippi Sissy.” I know I am not the first person to tell you what an impact your book had on me. “Mississippi Sissy” was the first book that I read after my release from a brief one week stay in a locked ward of a Mental Hospital after attempting suicide earlier this year.
I was touched by the sincerity and beauty of your work. As a southener myself, I was especially impressed with how you captured the co-existing elements of beauty and pain, of love and hate, that I feel are really unique to life in the South.
Likewise, I was inspired by your personal strength and it really helped me on my road to rebuilding a new, better, and happier life for myself.
December 1st, 2007 at 10:52 am
Glad you’re back, Kevin…onward and upward!
December 1st, 2007 at 9:57 pm
Glad to see you posted.
I came across “Mississippi Sissy” when I moved to Jackson back in the summer to begin law school here. It stayed on my shelf for a while as I read my endless law books, but I did manage to read it a few weeks ago. I am glad I did, and I look forward to reading more from you.
Apart from your moving story, it was enjoyable just to read about Mississippi and imagine the places you were at during your time here. I found myself imagining the places you mentioned and noting how I’ve discovered some of these places during my time here so far.
December 1st, 2007 at 10:46 pm
Kevin,
I am so glad you are back. I missed very few days checking to see if your had posted anything new, Yesterday was a day I missed, and my heart surely skipped a beat a few minutes ago when I saw you were blogging again.
Pobrecito Nino. I hear you about depression. Hope to hear that when all the houses have responded there will be a contract on the table for your consideration.
I like the outline you have sketched re: the sequel to MS.S. But, hey, I will buy anything you put up for sale.
Let us hear how your sibs and their families are doing, please.
Good to hear also about Brandon and Arthur.
Keep on believing in yourself and your work. You have earned the right.
December 2nd, 2007 at 10:53 pm
You are an amazing talent, Kevin. Do not think for a minute this novel won’t happen. Remmeber that the manuscript for Jerzy Kosinski’s THE PAINTED BIRD was turned down by 29 publishers AFTER it had already been published and won the National Book Award.
December 3rd, 2007 at 9:19 am
Whatever happened to Porterhouse?
December 3rd, 2007 at 11:24 pm
Kevin, I suspect your writing is all the stronger after Mississippi Sissy. And to me it sounds like this novel is pouring out of you very soon after your book tour and the attendant drama. This will happen in good time.
December 4th, 2007 at 7:19 pm
Wikipedia has your name on a page about Mississippi I saw today. I stumbled onto your blog after googling your name. The reading here is fascinating and I can’t wait to get hold of a copy of Mississippi Sissy and read it. I’m from Brookhaven and from your blog (mentioning Eudora Welty) realized you might have gone to Belhaven College. Geez…so did I for 3 semesters. And if I’m not mistaken, I know your brother.
I’m sure I’ll love the book. I KNOW I’ll be able to identify with it!
I felt compelled to respond and wish you luck with the new novel, even though I’m only yet a fan of your blog!
December 4th, 2007 at 9:25 pm
Wow, great book. I finished it last night and miss everyone already.
December 6th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
I read Mississippi Sissy on my way to New Orleans in September. It has struck me and stuck with me. I kept thinking i was reading fiction and had to remind myself this was your life, and you had survived. Your writing truly moved me. I hope that gives you some light in the midst of some darker times. Thank you for writing.
December 6th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
Kevin, I want you to know that I am still reading your blog. Everyone I recommended your book to loved it — all of them! I am still recommending. (BTW, I make them all buy a copy). I am sure you’ve heard J.K. Rowling story: She was turned down by every publishing house she pitched her first Harry Porter novel to…. What became of her? Exactly! The list goes on. I know unique talent when I see it, to say the least, you are phenomenal. I can’t wait to read your novel and the sequel to Mississippi Sissy! Keep marching on FIGHTER!
December 7th, 2007 at 10:37 am
Just discovered your book while browsing the local library (Providence, RI). Couldn’t put it down. Now I am recommending it to everyone I know, especially southerners. I am about a decade older than you, and I too grew up in Mississippi. I just happen to be straight, but substitute white liberal involved in the civil rights movement for gay and many of our experiences were so similar. I didn’t escape until my late 20’s. I go back to visit relatives, but I could never move back–the memories are just too harsh.
December 9th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Kevin,
First of all…I have to admit that I have never before written to any writer “directly” to express my like or dislike of their work. However, in you case, I have to make an exception.
I love your book. I have been glued to it ever since I picked it up. In short…I love it. You’ve done a fine job, and one which you should be most proud.
If you are ever in Atlanta, please look me up. Would love to meet you and (if you’d ever accept), a lunch or dinner or drinks on me in appreciation and celebration of a job well done.
Bravo.
- Matt McClendon, Atlanta, GA
December 10th, 2007 at 7:47 am
I just finished reading Mississippi Sissy, which I bought at a book store in Hong Kong. The title alone made it a “must buy”! I read all but the last chapter on my 13-hour plane ride from Beijing to Chicago. (I live and work in China, but am back in the U.S. for the holidays.) I hastily unpacked at my hotel — the very forgettable mustard-yellow Mark Twain in Peoria! — so I could enjoy the final pages.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been so moved by a book. Born in California, I moved with my family to Alabama at age 6, so I could definitely relate to much of your story. It’s hard to explain what that experience was like to friends who didn’t experience it, so it’s great to hear from someone who conveys it so personally.
This may sound strange, but I haven’t cared so much about characters since I read “In Cold Blood” by Capote. This one will stay with me for a long, long time.
Keep writing, Kevin. Your public is waiting!
December 10th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Kevin- I have missed your blog. Glad you are back. Fairhope, Alabama is still talking about the best reading ever.
December 18th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
Hello, Kevin. My name is Wilbur. I would like to join the chorus of people on this site who love your work. “Mississippi Sissy” really speaks to my efforts as a black gay man to fit into society as a whole, as well as my struggle to fit into the gay lifestyle. Sometimes, I am out of step with one or both simultaneously. As a little boy growing up in middle class Queens, NY, my career choice to become a fashion designer and my outlook on life were at odds with the kids in my school and neighborhood who aspired to very practical vocations like police officers, doctors, and lawyers who did not share my optimistic, glass-is-half-full view of the future.
As a young adult growing into my own acceptance of my sexuality, I felt extremely isolated and lonely. But at 40, I have found a core group of friends and family who speak my language in the same cadence and silly southern-hybrid flavor. I wish for you to find an elixir that makes you feel less lonely too. Continued success, peace, and love.
December 18th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Hey….
I just picked up Mississippi Sissy for my bf (that’s HIS blog i listed above) for x-mas…i’ll read it after he’s done…
I just found out about the blog from towelrod
I’ll be catching up and will forward this on to him
Jonathan
December 18th, 2007 at 4:18 pm
Kevin, not only do you still have readers, you have new people who have found your blog. I’m one of them, and I picked up your book this afternoon. I can’t put it down, and I expect to be reading well into the night. It (the book) is magnificent and I’m thrilled that you have a blog.
December 19th, 2007 at 6:35 am
I love your writing style. It’s unlike any I have even seen. So vivid but not annoyingly so. I haven’t finished the book, but I had to see your site. Augusten Burroughs is another favorite author of mine but he seems to be “resting on his laurels”. Hopefully, you will keep on producing wonderful words for me to gobble up. Much thanks for an enjoyable read (I’m very picky)
December 19th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
Hi Kevin,
Just wanted you to know that we here at ModernTonic LOVED Mississippi Sissy. We featured it in our 2007 Holiday BEST BOOKS Guide. Thank you for sharing this memoir with us!
moderntonic.com
Happy Holidays,
Kurt
December 23rd, 2007 at 11:07 pm
I am so excited you are doing a sequal to “SISSY” and I’m flabbergahsted that the book you are shopping around isn’t getting snapped up instantly…
“SISSY” remains the most rewarding work of literature I’ve read. So personal, so touching, so honest…. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your life with us… you help me feel connected!
With sincere affection!
December 28th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Read an interview with Kevin at www.windycitymediagroup.com/gay/lesbian/news/ARTICLE.php?AID=17038.
December 30th, 2007 at 10:17 am
Let’s face it, the reason your sequel to “Mississippi Sissy” hasn’t been greeted with open arms is that is just a continuation of the second half of it’s predecessor. And that, quite frankly, lacked something. Like a good editor, Eudora’s trusty scissors and a main character the reader cared about. There are nuggets of pure gold in the first part of “Mississippi Sissy”, if you can recapture that sense of discovery and cut back on the whining and self-destruction I think you may have a decent novel on your hands.
December 31st, 2007 at 12:00 am
Kevin,
I just wanted to let you know that 2008 is your year! You my friend are a brilliant writer and an amazing man. I can already see myself going to Barnes @ Noble and picking up your new book, heading over to a little granola cookie coffee shop in Pinehurst and sitting in the sun and cherishing every word.
When negative thoughts enter your mind (that make you depressed), I want you to vision me sitting at the granola cookie coffee shop, in the sun, reading your book “I Left It on the Mountain” gaining the inspiration I need to carry me through the day. Which come to think of it, “I Left It on the Mountain” that sounds like a good mantra for 2008, since last year’s mantra was, “Are You on the List”?
After all, that is what we all should do “Leave it on the Mountain”. Cherish every moment of every day; leave the baggage and negative energy on the mountain, while we live in the happy presence of each moment!
January 2nd, 2008 at 3:39 am
…but you are a writer, have been and are surrounded by writers…. stories of rejection letters papering walls are a dime-a-dozen….take Mississippi alone: Faulkner, Welty, Tennessee…
;as editor, you surely must have rejected submittals or returned work for an additional iterations
is it possible your novel may be more forceful as a short story? stories? put aside for awhile until it reveals itself to you?
i only suggest these possibilities because I’m an architect and often in frustration (mine and clients’) I have to put the model & drawings in the far corner of a room and glance at, ignore it, see it in daylight, dark. Sometimes it’s just dead; gets dumped in the trash, I start over.
January 4th, 2008 at 10:04 am
A great friend of mine - history/polysci prof here in Gainesville, FL - gave me your book for Christmas, well Solstice if I were honest. It was the best present I received this year and I am grateful to know that I am not the only small town boy to dress up like a witch for Halloween. I shared that part of your story with a hetero male friend of mine and he confessed that he also dressed like a witch one year. And I thought we were special!
The illuminating racial commentary and confessions of your story intrigued me. As a Yankee sissy, I learn about the history and emotions of the South from people like you.
And, alliteration’s allure also attracts and appeals to me as well. Great book Kevin. I am going to go back in time via the library to read some of your VF/Interview articles and will be keeping up with your current work.